A Community Care Employee's Journey Into Caregiving for her Parents

Mornings look different now for Shelly. Instead of waking up in her own apartment, she’s sharing a home with her parents. In exchange, she’s gained something unexpected: quiet mornings sipping coffee with her mom while her dad sleeps in. “I didn’t expect that gift,” Shelly says.

Shelly has been working at Community Care for nearly two years. Recently, she’s transitioned to the role of member accounting specialist, a position that allows her to work from home more often. The timing couldn’t have been better.

Before coming to Community Care, Shelly spent years running assisted living facilities. She expected her years in the industry to prepare her for taking care of her own parents. She always told families, “Don’t wait until it’s chaos.” But it’s still chaotic. “I thought working in the industry would help. When it’s your parents it’s different, she says.

Her dad had been declining slowly, but after three small strokes, Shelly knew it was time to step in. Her mom was exhausted trying to keep up with his care while managing her own physical pain. Shelly was ready to become the caregiver in the family. “They took care of me for a long, long time,” she says.

Caretaking comes naturally to Shelly. She loves to cook and enjoys making nice meals and being there to help take care of the house. And caring for them under one roof means her parents get to remain together. For someone navigating dementia like her dad, staying in a familiar home with the people they love can make all the difference.

While her mom is easy to care for, her dad’s dementia can be a struggle. The disease has taken his memory and his patience. Shelly often finds herself searching for his latest misplaced item or hurrying to help with an urgent request. When he decides something needs to be done, it has to be done immediately.

There are lots of good days, but bad days can knock the wind out of her. Knowing the difference she’s making for her mom helps her keep going. “I’ve always known I was put on this planet to help people. That’s my purpose. That’s why I’m here,” Shelly says.

Thankfully, balancing caretaking and her job has been one of the easier parts of the transition. She’s able to close her office door and focus on her tasks. Her dad doesn’t get moving until the afternoon, so the work day is almost over by the time he’s up.

Shelly’s coworkers at Community Care have shown up for her in ways she didn’t expect. Whether it’s offering to help with a task so she won’t need to make an extra trip to the office or just checking in on her, their compassion means a lot. Her brothers also pitch in, especially her younger brother. He stops by every day to check on their parents over lunch and they spend time together on the weekends.

Finding that support has been essential. “Let people know” is Shelly’s advice for anyone stepping into a caregiving role. People can only show up for you if they’re aware of what’s going on.

Shelly also recommends planning for something good, something to look forward to. Right now, that’s a trip to Disney, her mom’s favorite place. Her dad’s favorite place, Shelly says, is wherever mom is.

Are you a caregiver too?

If you’re navigating caregiving, we have resources to help. Visit our Caregiver Support page to find tools, information, and community.